Anger Management

Journey through James: 1:19-20

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. — James 1:19-20

James continues to write to us about our mindset, things we need know and have settled in our minds. He also uses the term ‘beloved brothers’ (v16) again. James is giving this challenge and instruction as one brother to another. He is not writing to those whom he sees as less than himself but to fellow brothers in Christ.

The instruction James gives here would prevent a majority of all interpersonal conflict. James gives three simple instructions that apply to every person regardless of position or station in life:

• be Quick to hear

• be Slow to speak

• be Slow to anger

Our natural tendency is to do that exact opposite. We are often slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger. 

What does it mean to be quick to hear? Does that mean we always run towards those who are talking and put our ear as close to them as possible? No, being quick to hear means actually taking time to listen. This means that you slow down enough to truly hear what the other person is trying to communicate to you. Too often we stop listening a few words in because we begin to think of responses or why what that person is saying doesn’t matter. James tells we need to set our minds to listen to what is being said. 

Not only do we need to take time to truly listen, we also need to be slow to respond. James is not telling us that we need to speak slowly but that we need to think before we speak. We need to listen to others before we respond. Too often we put too much stock in our own perception and understanding, and we are willing to give someone an answer before they have even finished telling us what is going on. 

And finally we need to be slow to get angry. When we see or hear something we disagree with it is easy to get angry. Yet getting angry rarely solves a problem. Our anger often leads to more sin. James tells us plainly that our anger does not bring about God’s righteousness. Our anger is often selfish and focused on hurting those who have irritated or wronged us.

I was reminded of these truths this week at a track meet. Our son was involved in a close finish. The other runner bumped our son as he attempted to pass, and our son tried to accelerate to stay in front. In doing this, our son’s arm came up, and the official thought our son had intentionally interfered with the other runner. As soon as the race was over, the official began angrily telling our son that those types of actions wouldn’t be tolerated. Our son tried to explain what happened; yet the official refused to listen, told him to stop making excuses, and told him he had no character. The official refused to listen, relayed his decision to our son’s coach, and that was it. The official was sure of what he saw and was adamant that it was a malicious act by our son. There was no discussion; in the officials mind the matter was settled. 

Why do I share this story? It was a stark reminder of how it is not fun to be on the wrong end of a situation where someone is quick to speak and quick to anger. However, it was also convicting. I was on the opposite side of the stadium, and had I been within earshot of what had happened, I do not think I would have been quick to hear and slow to speak. I was angry when I heard what happened. This situation also reminded me that I have often acted in a similar way. I have been quick to judge someone’s heart and motivation without listening to them.

When we are quick to speak and quick to anger we escalate conflict rather than resolve it. How can we be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger? It helps to follow Jesus’ example and entrust everything to God. Give the situation over to Him.

When he (Jesus) was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him (God) who judges justly. — 1 Peter 2:23